October 7, 1924 - August 31, 2021

Dr. James J. Rue, a national pioneer in marriage and family therapy and a much loved patriarch to his large family, died Aug. 31 at his home in Laguna Woods, CA. He was 96.

Strengthening marriage and family life was the driving force in Jim’s professional life. He did his undergraduate study at Washington State University and received his doctorate from USC in Los Angeles. He founded the nonprofit Sir Thomas More Marriage & Family Clinics of Southern California in 1960, where he and his fellow therapists counseled thousands of individuals, couples and families over the next four decades. Gov. Ronald Reagan named him to the Board of Behavioral Science Examiners, and Jim chaired the board in 1972. Across his career, he also served as president of the Institute of Family Relations, co-founded the National Alliance for Family Life with his wife Katie, and was elected vice-president of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. He also consulted with the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops and the Archdiocese of Los Angeles as an expert in marriage and family relations.

Jim held various teaching positions at Mount St. Mary’s College, Chapman College, St. Joseph’s College, Pepperdine University, Loyola Marymount, and California State University at Los Angeles. He wrote Guidelines for Pre-Marriage Counseling, which became a standard reference for counselors and educators. He wrote The Nine Most Common Marriage Problems and How to Overcome Them, and coauthored four books with Louise Shanahan: The Divorced Catholic, Catechism for the Divorced, Catechism for Divorced Catholics, and Daddy’s Girl-Mama’s Boy.

Jim was born in Kansas City Missouri in 1924 to Joe and Helen Rue. Joe was an American League umpire who took young Jim to games where he met some of the great players of the era. Helen was a former ballet dancer and devoted mother to Jim and his two sisters, Helen Joann (Yan) and Peg. After the family moved to Long Beach CA, Jim entered St. Anthony’s High School where he met his future bride, Katie Mussachia. They were married in 1945 after his Army service ended. He began his career in Southern California, and he and Katie raised their family and lived in Downey for 50 years.

Jim and Katie were inseparable for 63 years until her death in 2008. They traveled to 28 countries in Europe, Asia, South America and the Middle East. In later years they especially enjoyed cruising. Jim loved being on the water in his own boats, and made numerous, memorable crossings to Catalina with his family.

Jim was an influential and loving presence for his eight children. For the past 13 years they all gathered monthly for a group phone call, and could count on getting impressive doses of wisdom, opinion, advice, sentiment and humor when it was Jim’s turn to share. One of his last spoken sentences was “I want to be on that next call.”

He is survived by his loving wife Susanna--who married Jim in 2017 after they met in Laguna Woods--his sister Yan, and his eight children: Dr. Victoria Rue (Kathryn) of Walnut Creek, CA ; Dr. Vincent Rue (Susan) of Jacksonville, Fla; Valerie Rue of Morro Bay; Dr. Ted Rue (Deborah) of Tucson, AZ; Mary Smith (Roger) of Altadena CA; Monica McQueen (Neil) of Laguna Beach, CA; Tim Rue (Rachel) of Long Beach, CA; and Diana Dahlgren (Timothy) of Gig Harbor, WA. Jim had nine grandchildren and five great grandchildren. The family is especially grateful to Jim’s caregivers, and to Dr. Ted Rue and Dr. Timothy Dahlgren who attended him in his final days.

A celebration of Jim’s life will be held on Sept. 18. For details please email Mary Smith at dovetailms@gmail.com.